id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
