I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize