I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He better not be in your backpack
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
