His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
