The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
