I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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