So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
