Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
