You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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