quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
How naked do you want me to be?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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