I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
