I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
