Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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