After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize