You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
