What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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