you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
