I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
