New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
