theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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