i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
