im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
