I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize