i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Randomize
