we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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