Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
