I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
But break dance skills will only take you so far
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
My vagina is very pro this idea
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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