i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She even gives head with a lisp.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
