He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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