Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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