I want to walk on stilts...naked
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I think my vagina is haunted
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
