Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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