He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
