come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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