I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
