i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
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