break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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