So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
How does one acquire holy water?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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