ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
