he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize