anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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