You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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