Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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