As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
