Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
