Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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