Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
