a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
