either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
