i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
pray to the hookup gods
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
