Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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