I could have mohawked her pubes.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
