he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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