When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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