Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The feeling are messing with the penis
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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