Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize