i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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